Promoting Positive Self-Esteem in Children
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Either your kids learn to manage and control themselves or they need someone else to monitor, motivate, and control them. Thoughts?
When you teach kids to think critically, make the best choices, learn from mistakes, and fine-tune their skills, you allow them to internalize skills necessary to be successful. Agree/Disagree?
Setting limits and rules for toddlers is the beginning of creating consistent expectations and consequences. It makes it so much easier to set limits for them in school, as pre-teens and in their teen years.
Rewarding kids or adults for showing up but putting in no effort to achieve results can lead to an exaggerated sense of accomplishment for basically nothing. Showing up is mandatory – not to be rewarded. Agree or disagree?
In the past, parenting experts believed that allowing kids to experience mistakes or failure would damage their self-esteem. They were trying to build a strong ego – and it worked – but it resulted in a sense of self-importance without the foundation of confidence. Discuss…
Self-esteem comes from within. It is not something we can give our children, but we can foster it by teaching them the skills they need to gain confidence. Part of that process requires giving the freedom to make choices – and to fail.
If parents are inconsistent in following the guidelines they put in place, they are sending a message that this issue is not important, and that they can’t be trusted to follow through with their responsibilities. They’re inadvertently teaching kids that they’re not trustworthy. Agree? Disagree?
Parents must be willing to let their kids fail. We have a limited amount of control over another human, even your own child. Even more challenging… allowing your child to fail requires strength to withstand judgment from teachers, family, friends, and others.
Failing is most helpful when kids learn something from it. We all must learn to live with our decisions and actions, or inaction. If and when they’re willing, ask them to tell you what they learned from the experience.
Be careful that you don’t inadvertently lower expectations of your kids. For example, if the expectation is that chores are done before bed, don’t go overboard with praise for doing what is expected. A simple thank you will suffice. When your children go above and beyond, tell them specifically how you appreciate them.
Allow children to make choices from an early age, within reason. As they get older, the choices become riskier. Those who begin making decisions at an early age will develop better critical thinking skills and more confidence… therefore are more likely to take calculated risks.